she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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