You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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