just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
