I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Drake has all the answers
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
