Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
