Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
