I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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