I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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