Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
