this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
