I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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