Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
