Taylor Swift is so right about you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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