Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
