I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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