grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
