so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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