At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
and you fell through a lawn chair
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
