I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Congratulations! We have a period
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