Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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