i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
