take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
