You're my little dorito
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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