I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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