Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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