Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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