Non-Jews are for practice
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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