Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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