Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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