i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
