i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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