I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
