But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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