Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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