He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drake has all the answers
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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