just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
