Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
