first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
