I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
