Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
