Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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