after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
