Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
And then he peed in my hair
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