Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
