He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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