Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
