We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
