the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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