Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
