You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
