Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
