i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
